POM POM's and Sparrows.....

It’s a classic case of the POM POM’s – you know “Poor Old Me, Poor Old Me….”

I’ve had to take some time off work, as I have a filthy cold. I have a sneaky suspicion it’s connected to the ‘flu jab I had a week previous, but I’m told that this is not possible…. Needless to say, as a woman of prayer, I have all the medication I can possibly take by my side close to hand (!), and wish I’d taken out Shares in Lem-Sip years ago!

Apart from trying very hard to stay vertical, my main concern is that I have had to cancel seeing clients. I obviously don’t want to go spreading germs around, and besides which, every 2nd sentence is a coughing bout, so I need to keep my mouth shut. Now, if I was a practising psychotherapist, this might be ok – they’re the ones with the couches, who sit behind you, make no eye contact at all, and spend the whole hour just thinking about what you might not be saying…..(!)

But as a Counsellor, my work involves making lots of eye contact, and building up a strong relationship, to a point where a client feels safe enough to be able to talk things through with me a very deep level. It’s intense one-on-one work, and not easy to do when your head is exploding….

But there are deeper implications. First of all, it’s handling the guilt I feel in letting people down. I know I did not invite the cold – far from it – but I still feel that it’s my fault that I can’t be seeing people for the next few days. They do develop a level of dependence, which can be helpful as long as it’s structured ethically. Some people also let their imaginations run riot, thinking that I’ve done this on purpose, and that I’m punishing them for some imagined slight, or something they’ve said. To someone who does not have any problems, this may sound strange, but when you are confused, anything is believable.

The other thing, though, is that I have to consciously make sure that I take care of myself. If I can’t, then I’m of no use with clients. It’s a case of being something of a role model, which allows the client to believe that each of us matters enough to take care of. Many of them come with their self-worth in tatters, having grown up with people verbally abusing them, or far worse, devaluing them into nothing. And part of my role is to realistically affirm that they do matter very much indeed. Also that it’s OK to be human, which sometimes means that we are ill, and that we need to take time out for us.

I know, too, that this is “only” a cold. It would be really easy to say to myself “Pat, pull yourself together, and just get on with it – there are people out there who feel far worse than you do….”. This is where value judgements come in, and we have to look at the bigger picture – THIS cold is debilitating enough for me not to be able to meet people and be there for their needs, because my nose, sore throat and coughing would interrupt what they need to say. It also “models” for clients that what they might experience is not to be equally quickly dismissed as of no value – this is called Avoidance and Denial, and many of them are long-practised in it.

Scripture reminds us that not even a sparrow falls without Father God being aware of it, and what may be insignificant in our eyes is highly significant to Him. Much of what we think is based not on a realistic appraisal of ourselves, but on a false fear of what others will think. The only opinion that truly matters is what Father God thinks of us, and He proves over and over that He cares about us truly and deeply.

Pat’s Thought for the Day;
“His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me”