The fear of failure...

I shared something with the folk in church this morning about the fear of failure.

Without sharing the whole thing (which I haven't transcribed), the gist of it was that people often spend most of their adult lives fearful of failure. And it's not so much that we fear actually failing - it's that we're terrified of being SEEN to fail. It is that whole connection with people seeing us doing something wrong, and feeling so exposed and vulnerable. For some, this sparks from early childhood, where cruel families, playmates or teachers feel that a way to bullly, or discipline, is to show someone up publicly.

Trouble is, we then take this over into adulthood, and so have to devise strategies to cope with the crippling effect of this fear. Sometimes, we don't finish things, because then someone else may have to make comments on the finished task. More often, we don't start things - guaranteed to avoid failure. Or if neither of these work, we sabotage the task partway through, so that other things, people, or circumstances shoulder some of the heavy responsibility, and that the exposure can be shared, and hopefully minimised or mis-directed.

This is then how we also approach God. In a well-intentioned desire to please Him, we end up fearful of getting it wrong - maybe doubting that we have heard God correctly; convinced that God chose the wrong person to ask; sure that even if God did choose correctly, that we are bound to mess things up, and that ultimately, people will finally find out that we are a fraud and expose us publicly to untold humiliation.

The TRUTH is that one of the reasons Jesus was killed so publicly, amidst ridicule and humiliation, was that God, having done it to Jesus, will never have to do that to us. This is the essence of a substitutionary death - Jesus has been exposed, so that we don't have to be. Secondly, Romans 8 assures us that God has fully accepted us, and does not reject us. We are now sons (and daughters) of God, heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ. He is not about to disinherit us; rather, He intends that we should live fully in the promises of the inheritance we now have.

This is not to say that in the world, we will never be vulnerable - I wish that this were so. But we can approach such things from the standpoint of a foundation relationship that knows that we are totally accepted by God, and that ultimately, this is the One whose opinion is the only one that will last for eternity.

As I was meditating on these words through the first half of this morning's service, I had many doubts as to whether or not I should say it at all. I wondered if people might imagine that because I have recently failed in part of my accreditation, that I was somehow trying to make sense of it all through this word. (I rarely get asked "how" I know how to give a word. I guess I have my own assumptions as to what people might think about the process, if they wonder at all. ) But in the end, I had to believe that God is Sovereign, and if He chooses to use someone very ordinary to say something which makes a difference to just one person, then of course, I need to be obedient to that word. (Maybe one day I'll get the chance to talk through in more detail about this astonishing process. )

One final thought: this word was, I believe, intensely personal for people, and I honestly did not expect anyone to come up to me and say that it had helped. I believed that God would do a very private work with someone, and that was fine with me. In fact, three people did talk to me about it afterwards, and it did make a difference.

Pat's Thought for the Day:
In what ways does the fear of failure impact your walk with God? What might happen if this were not the case?